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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 February 1983 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3072
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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agent47crows's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:24pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 7:16am

agent47crows's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

agent47crows's favorite FMLs

Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML

by DayamyWuzHere / 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML

by pchis4ever / 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to my song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to my face. FML

by fail / 11/19/2009 at 1:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

by whatthewhat / 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

by Grad2010 / 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, me, a coworker, and my manager were looking at random advertisements. One ad was a picture of three fishes. My coworker named the three fishes what I thought were completely random names. I said "those are stupid names." Turns out those are my manager's kid's names. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 10:43pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

by anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 1:00am / Japan (Okinawa) / Kids

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

by ZINGER / 11/14/2009 at 1:02am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML

by stubblebutt / 11/13/2009 at 7:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

by Abby / 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

by Dummy / 11/10/2009 at 12:47am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

by birdbath / 11/08/2009 at 2:26am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

by badwife / 11/07/2009 at 5:22am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

by notsohappyniece / 11/02/2009 at 11:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

by Joe / 11/01/2009 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous