agent47crows

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agent47crows

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 February 1983 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2767
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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agent47crows's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:24pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 7:16am

agent47crows's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

agent47crows's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2011 at 9:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

by biblewanker / 12/17/2010 at 11:05am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2010 at 1:18am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML

by anonymous / 01/29/2010 at 7:08pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

by ceedee / 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

by Fredgruff / 01/09/2010 at 8:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

by squirrel / 01/09/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

by Fuzzy / 01/08/2010 at 2:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Geek

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

by TJ / 01/07/2010 at 11:50am / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML

by Arsinoe / 01/05/2010 at 7:02pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Money