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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35238) - you deserved it (2685)
On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15539) - you deserved it (23858)
On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30006) - you deserved it (8273)
On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82026) - you deserved it (4401) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7723) - you deserved it (27942)
On 03/04/2011 at 1:07am - work - by st00pid (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9719) - you deserved it (24916)
On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I ran into one of my teachers from high school. When I told her I just recently graduated college and was starting graduate school in the fall, she said "you don't have to lie, some people just are not cut out for college. There is no shame." I wasn't lying, I graduated with honors too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (1810)
On 02/27/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37734) - you deserved it (7269)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10109) - you deserved it (40967)
On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34596) - you deserved it (6217)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23642) - you deserved it (6970)
On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15729) - you deserved it (2037)
On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I beat her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32057) - you deserved it (2307) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47159) - you deserved it (4323) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12859) - you deserved it (21146)
On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
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