Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

afkwarrior

Offline (the 09/12/2014 at 2:41pm) | Search for a member

afkwarrior

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 432
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About afkwarrior : Got a lovely loving boyfriend and love playing Steam games on PC. I'm Asian, 5ft4, love music, comedy, reading, being clever, and Doctor Who. If you want to talk then actually message me with something interesting!

afkwarrior's page activity

Visits<b>DrWonders29</b> - yesterday at 2:49am<b>xXRayRayBearXx</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:00pm<b>Dark_Zekrom</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 6:46pm<b>heffastera</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:38pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:18pm<b>grenadeasaurus</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:58pm<b>Jaredphamtom</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:19am<b>CrackCrazedMonky</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:02pm<b>BigPeter</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:08am<b>redwoods</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 4:03pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 7:12pm<b>doofusrabbit</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:26pm<b>lukeshyp</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 10:48am<b>sunnyallday21</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:56pm<b>bueschere</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:26pm<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:36am<b>Nickcool12</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:57am

Liked!<b>CrackCrazedMonky</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:02am

afkwarrior's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of afkwarrior's badges

afkwarrior's favorite FMLs

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46432) - you deserved it (3530)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41499) - you deserved it (5683)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

#21235555
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25518) - you deserved it (31896)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by kirstyrd - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46535) - you deserved it (8149)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was on my way to my first job interview in months. I wasn't even halfway to the place when a bunch of cockbites in a car drove past and hurled a bucket of paint out the window, drenching me and several other people on the street. FML

#21143094
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46427) - you deserved it (3548)

On 05/17/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by spasti-cunt (woman) - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43717) - you deserved it (6194)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was texting a girl I like, explaining how she looks like an attractive celebrity. She responded with a picture of a very unattractive lady and asked if she looked like that. I told her if she had been caught in a burning building, then yes, that would look like her. It was of her mom. FML

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49699) - you deserved it (13816)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56285) - you deserved it (8647)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my favorite band logo is no longer being used by said band because of copyright issues. I have this logo tattooed on my body. FML

#21100070
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23587) - you deserved it (51745)

On 03/30/2014 at 10:27am - misc - by Cult (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41181) - you deserved it (2937)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48259) - you deserved it (4782)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: