About afkwarrior : Love playing games on PC. I'm Asian, short, love music, comedy, reading, being clever, and Doctor Who. Interests may or may not extend to full blown sarcasm.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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afkwarrior's favorite FMLs
by Coccinelle / 02/05/2016 at 11:36am / France / Work
Today, I went for bloodwork. It's routine for me, so I was ready for the nurse to put in the needle and take my blood. It went in fine, but right after, she slowly pulled the needle out, then wondered why the blood stopped. She then moved it back and forth in my arm while I panicked silently. FML
by bloodless / 01/05/2016 at 12:17am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML
by CogadhTallon / 12/29/2015 at 9:11pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML
by _schaden_freude / 12/27/2015 at 12:31pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Love
Today, I was babysitting. As I went to leave the bathroom, someone grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut. I figured it was one of the kids and told them to knock it off. A second later, the grip let off. There was no one there and the kids were still asleep. I don't know what to think. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 11:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by mommiedearest / 12/24/2015 at 11:06am / United States (South Carolina) / Kids
Today, I called the HR department of a big company, inquiring about a vacancy for a website designer. Boy, do they need one; there are dead links, malware warnings, and a layout from the '90s, but no info at all about recruitment. The lady just angrily referred me to the website and hung up. FML
by vicious circle / 12/22/2015 at 8:08am / Sint Maarten (Dutch part) / Work
Today, it's been three months since i went to my GP for a swollen foot. She sent me to a rheumatologist, a pulmonologist, vein ultrasound, DNA testing and finally an X-ray, which revealed I've been walking around on a broken foot. By now, the two bones are grown together at weird angles, forever. FML
by DeeZeeMb / 12/20/2015 at 7:40am / Slovenia (Maribor Commune) / Health
Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2015 at 2:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Geek
by periods / 12/18/2015 at 11:37am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my puppy went missing. I found him, unconscious but thankfully alive, in a taped-up box with no holes. My little brother eventually confessed to doing it because he wanted to sell my puppy on eBay. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2015 at 10:03am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by Jorgen / 12/17/2015 at 8:45pm / United States / Money
Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, after years of loneliness, I met the most amazing girl on Omegle. We spoke for ages and really clicked. But before either of us could exchange numbers, I lost my internet connection and her along with it. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 2:00pm / United Kingdom / Love