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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (6410)
On 01/27/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6603) - you deserved it (26417)
On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version
Today, while I was in the shower I noticed a short, black hair on my loofa. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29473) - you deserved it (5804)
On 10/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32608) - you deserved it (3836)
On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32861) - you deserved it (5100)
On 08/31/2009 at 8:44am - animals - by phlyingphuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23431) - you deserved it (47361)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51136) - you deserved it (3541)
On 05/28/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by Jeanine (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12922) - you deserved it (30150)
On 05/25/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by Droolgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41673) - you deserved it (15711)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52746) - you deserved it (8314)
On 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by screwed (woman) - United States
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69466) - you deserved it (32924)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12467) - you deserved it (69679)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancée, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancée for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (218278) - you deserved it (8538)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41320) - you deserved it (3315)
On 05/09/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54071) - you deserved it (22028)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
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