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Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17871) - you deserved it (38124)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6277) - you deserved it (15639)
On 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm - misc - by mark (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31278) - you deserved it (2025)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States
Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33423) - you deserved it (2918) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by elite -
Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML
I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (3382)
On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53052) - you deserved it (3339)
On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43147) - you deserved it (11805)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43147) - you deserved it (11805)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28886) - you deserved it (2347)
On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -
Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20177) - you deserved it (6893)
On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28455) - you deserved it (8522)
On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (4473)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25656) - you deserved it (2278)
On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20352) - you deserved it (3134)
On 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10702) - you deserved it (21195)
On 07/18/2011 at 11:23pm - intimacy - by RobinBunny713 - United States (Arizona)
Friday 24 May 2013
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