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adrien5643

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adrien5643

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  • Title : Mister
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  • Number of visits : 203
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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adrien5643's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39531) - you deserved it (16917)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39202) - you deserved it (22623)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79511) - you deserved it (8229)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37857) - you deserved it (4068)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36230) - you deserved it (3625)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

#20549296
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44247) - you deserved it (4546)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48156) - you deserved it (14382)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38680) - you deserved it (5579)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54630) - you deserved it (14373)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

#20527973
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44208) - you deserved it (20231)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36262) - you deserved it (10501)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

#20521664
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31944) - you deserved it (8059)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14717) - you deserved it (38361)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I noticed that my girlfriend has a deeper voice than I do. FML

#18613086
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28059) - you deserved it (7130)

On 12/26/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Cary (man) - United States (New Mexico)



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