About adoraaaa : I'm short.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (15706) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12727) - you deserved it (66658)
On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29722) - you deserved it (8016)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (2679)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47490) - you deserved it (6507)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, someone in my class wrote "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I am always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36934) - you deserved it (4365)
On 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by Petitprof (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13222) - you deserved it (24876)
On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26432) - you deserved it (2207)
On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)
Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, sending blood down my horn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (2818)
On 09/15/2010 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19698) - you deserved it (2121)
On 09/13/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by edwinduarte1 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24898) - you deserved it (21159)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23238) - you deserved it (2318)
On 09/11/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by wantontsu -
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20706) - you deserved it (37561)
On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)
Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6773) - you deserved it (34487)
On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14833) - you deserved it (4727)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 17 June 2013
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