About admirer69 : I'm about as unlucky as you can get.
admirer69's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
admirer69's favorite FMLs
Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML
by xXWhiteSheepXx / 04/07/2016 at 10:28pm / United States (Nebraska) / Animals
Today, there's a new freshman at my school that looks exactly like me. Whenever we see her, my friends shout "Twinzies!" I don't have anything against her, but I'm bummed because I'm a male senior. FML
by twinzies / 02/19/2016 at 9:46pm / United States (California) / Work
by Ohgodmother / 02/28/2014 at 4:06am / Australia (Tasmania) / Kids
by AshlynnPrime / 11/14/2013 at 5:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
by not getting laid / 10/13/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work
Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/19/2010 at 4:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I wrote the most beautiful college application essay ever, ten minutes before the online deadline. Instead of clicking "submit", I clicked the button next to it that said "return". The entire essay vanished into internet wasteland. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2009 at 4:56pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML
by axsmith01 / 08/21/2009 at 2:48am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my mom and I rented a hotel room. She decided to go to bed, while I watched MythBusters. Apparently, my mom got hot while she slept. She threw the covers off of herself and pulled up her night-gown. I turned to find out that my mother does not wear underwear when she sleeps. FML
by ZAS / 06/15/2009 at 3:45am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML
by Sigh / 05/23/2009 at 1:50am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by karma / 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
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