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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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adammicdaddy

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adammicdaddy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 232
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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adammicdaddy's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

#7753235 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (18684) - you deserved it (3079)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (3580) - you deserved it (16678)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

#7649526 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (20502) - you deserved it (1700)

On 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Juggalette (woman) - United States (Michigan)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (5354) - you deserved it (31699)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I was worried I'd broken something and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the volume settings for an hour before calling my sister in to look at it. She looked at it for two seconds before unplugging my headphones. FML

#7612223 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (3111) - you deserved it (24110)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (21305) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (44055) - you deserved it (2124)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my boyfriend was teaching me to drive, and told me he agreed with the stereotype that women are worse drivers than men. I argued with him so heatedly about how it was just like a man to say something like that, that I drove through our garage doors because I wasn't paying attention. FML

#3836983 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (7189) - you deserved it (43475)

On 07/17/2009 at 5:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

#2820410 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (43907) - you deserved it (4569)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49am - kids - by downlowtooslow (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML

#1840722 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (41282) - you deserved it (7087)

On 05/11/2009 at 11:14am - health - by Manatee (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML

#1101827 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (8176) - you deserved it (83304)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on a small plane. A flight attendant told us that there was too much weight in the front of the plane and they needed 3 people to move to the back of the plane. I volunteer and walk to the back. She says, "Okay, we're going to need 1 more person." FML

#942565 (19)

I agree, your life sucks (54083) - you deserved it (7725)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

#225993 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (10524) - you deserved it (34327)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by thebickster (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was putting a new lightbulb in when my wife walks into the room and says "you can't see a thing, i'll turn the light on for you". And she did. FML

#981 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (15225) - you deserved it (1010)

On 01/11/2009 at 11:35pm - misc - by Christoams - Sent from mobile version