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Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5293) - you deserved it (1157)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and proceeded to shit my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7410) - you deserved it (581)
On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States
Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (2668) - you deserved it (12674)
On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States
Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2097) - you deserved it (15098)
On 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by Tom Ali - United States
Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20128) - you deserved it (3200)
On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, as I was walking back inside I noticed my mop leaning on the wall next to my door. I picked it up and started slow dancing with it, imagining it was the girl I'm in love with. I didn't notice my neighbours bunched up at their window laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9264) - you deserved it (20874)
On 05/04/2011 at 6:01am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20103) - you deserved it (2259)
On 04/17/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by zoearcu - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27484) - you deserved it (3580)
On 04/01/2011 at 8:45pm - misc - by Groped (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27873) - you deserved it (2439)
On 04/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)
Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (1821)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:14pm - misc - by Kingspin - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29855) - you deserved it (17307)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87646) - you deserved it (18471)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59317) - you deserved it (144014)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69466) - you deserved it (32923)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching TV, randomly she starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited she says to me "Just Joking". FML
I agree, your life sucks (111163) - you deserved it (14785)
On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)
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