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adamjohnson

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adamjohnson

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 September 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 730
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12388) - you deserved it (56943)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12388) - you deserved it (56943)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12388) - you deserved it (56943)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12388) - you deserved it (56943)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he "can't date someone who supports the war". We started dating because he thought I looked cute in my uniform. FML

#18066351
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30571) - you deserved it (3331)

On 10/24/2011 at 8:13pm - love - by soldiergirl - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (24633)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9219) - you deserved it (20233)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom

Today, my dad spent a full half hour trying to convince me that Judaism is a race. FML

#16938868
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23978) - you deserved it (5830)

On 07/01/2011 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML

#15927164
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36575) - you deserved it (17451)

On 04/25/2011 at 10:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

#15364776
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32908) - you deserved it (9726)

On 03/18/2011 at 7:28am - misc - by karmavictim -

Today, I posted a status on Facebook saying I was depressed and needed someone to talk to. Someone commented on it saying "Just kill yourself". It got 20 likes. FML

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

#13518808
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28384) - you deserved it (3564)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by engineerdude91 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML

#12894594
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (6194)

On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -

Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML

#12894594
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (6194)

On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -

Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML

#11238681
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30952) - you deserved it (16796)

On 06/16/2010 at 10:42am - health - by Joy (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)



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