Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

adamjohnson

Search for a member

adamjohnson

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 September 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 736
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

adamjohnson's page activity

Visits<b>Indatshirt</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:38am<b>klaralynn</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 10:31pm

adamjohnson's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of adamjohnson's badges

adamjohnson's favorite FMLs

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32552) - you deserved it (3265)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

#19840334
497 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8912) - you deserved it (45049)

On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

#19696168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (1883)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by notnicefools - United States (California)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26514) - you deserved it (3008)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27328) - you deserved it (3903)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML

#19603153
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27352) - you deserved it (7941)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

#19593515
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14422) - you deserved it (36265)

On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

#19469757
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24296) - you deserved it (5758)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we need to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

#19457923
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9751) - you deserved it (33236)

On 04/12/2012 at 9:02pm - misc - by marymark - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
464 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13940) - you deserved it (36342)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

#19444005
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (6234)

On 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

#19444005
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (6234)

On 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML

#19441830
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18660) - you deserved it (3070)

On 04/10/2012 at 7:13am - animals - by tay (man) - Australia

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35125) - you deserved it (2446)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9728) - you deserved it (74062)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: