adamaemae

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Offline (the 01/15/2014 at 10:07pm)

adamaemae

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1044
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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adamaemae's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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adamaemae's favorite FMLs

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

by madamefuxalittle / 07/08/2014 at 4:52pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

by TheKingKen / 07/01/2014 at 8:33pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

by BaWanda / 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML

by stop thief / 06/26/2014 at 11:11am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, our dishwasher door broke. My mom made me sit there for an hour straight, holding the door shut so it would work. FML

by NehNehPwn / 06/24/2014 at 11:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

by Anon / 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

by icandothecancan / 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

by LoveGlove / 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 11:15am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2014 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

by guest / 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work