aclark2523

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aclark2523

80Fucked!

aclark2523
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1687
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About aclark2523 : I'm awful at describing my self. That's what messages are for, right?

P.S. No big deal but I have the "Keen reader: godlike ninja" badge.

aclark2523's page activity

Visits<b>mkmon7</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 11:47pm<b>DeadsVega</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 1:19pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 7:54pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:09am<b>sabby7</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:40am<b>__nines</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 12:01pm<b>RandomUsername88</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 1:25am<b>nfern046</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 12:31pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:30am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 6:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 9:16pm<b>914smv</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 3:58pm<b>beautyxo</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:35am<b>LegitimateSalmon</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:31am<b>srhearrell</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:16pm<b>rdavis32</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:59am<b>tappm98</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:16pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:56pm

Fucked!<b>__nines</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 6:01pm<b>emi_alejandra</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 9:07am<b>epicx22</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:56am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 6:06am<b>kmw003</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 4:15am<b>bbackensto</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 3:39pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 9:50pm<b>miss_cata26</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 10:32pm<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 6:38am<b>clevergirl98</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 8:07pm<b>baker0350</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:44pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:11pm<b>open_secrets</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 7:07am<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 5:59am<b>meg13rocks</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:08pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 11:36pm<b>abby1212</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 6:18am

aclark2523's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of aclark2523's badges

aclark2523's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML

by jonloran / 08/14/2015 at 5:08am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

by rimenrezon / 01/06/2015 at 9:10am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

by 404: fuck not given / 11/23/2014 at 11:34am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

by humdrummitydrum / 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm / United States / Health

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

by booger / 07/18/2013 at 3:41am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, after having lost my phone three days ago, I paid a $150 non-refundable fee to have my phone replaced and mailed to me by Tuesday. A half hour later, I found my original phone. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 2:14am / United States (Colorado) / Money

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

by Sprtsgeek13 / 09/13/2012 at 8:37am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

by theflow / 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Health