Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

aclark2523

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

aclark2523

72Fucked!

aclark2523
  • Town/Country : Twin Cities, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1367
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About aclark2523 : I'm awful at describing my self. That's what messages are for, right?

aclark2523's page activity

Visits<b>cmontaz</b> - 18 hours ago<b>clevergirl98</b> - 22 hours ago<b>qdawg06</b> - yesterday at 9:16am<b>iTzYourDad</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 7:29am<b>nicofluff</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 5:27am<b>knights13z</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 2:00am<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 12:38am<b>DejaRenee</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 12:27am<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:34pm<b>ayrawn</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:14pm<b>beccarey9</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:22pm<b>viperishcat</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 9:21pm<b>johnrdz3</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 7:59pm<b>xopher425</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 7:05pm<b>Flippier999</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:05pm<b>hodgepodge365</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 6:29pm<b>acevango</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 5:34pm<b>peach2218</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 7:34am

Fucked!<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 6:38am<b>clevergirl98</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 8:07pm<b>baker0350</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:44pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:11pm<b>open_secrets</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 7:07am<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 5:59am<b>meg13rocks</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:08pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 11:36pm<b>abby1212</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 6:18am<b>ShortStop19</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:51am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 5:55am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:44am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:02am<b>Mar2171</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 4:44am<b>juststephhere</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 9:26pm<b>CaptChris</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 12:41am

aclark2523's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of aclark2523's badges

aclark2523's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML

#21455882
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23125) - you deserved it (1959)

On 08/14/2015 at 5:08am - misc - by jonloran - United States (Nevada)

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

#21331929
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31705) - you deserved it (2336)

On 01/06/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by rimenrezon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41739) - you deserved it (5196)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37778) - you deserved it (4159)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44180) - you deserved it (6279)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46246) - you deserved it (4378)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

#20789918
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39270) - you deserved it (13769)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:41am - misc - by booger (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, after having lost my phone three days ago, I paid a $150 non-refundable fee to have my phone replaced and mailed to me by Tuesday. A half hour later, I found my original phone. FML

#20491153
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24233) - you deserved it (14682)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10282) - you deserved it (35841)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34277) - you deserved it (19365)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (3464)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26940) - you deserved it (3092)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22961) - you deserved it (2122)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

#20022564
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (4295)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: