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aclark2523

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aclark2523

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aclark2523
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 346
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About aclark2523 : I love soccer ( football). Although I am a master procrastinator, I do enjoy my schooling and am proud of it.

aclark2523's page activity

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Liked!<b>ariastyles12</b> - 22 hours ago<b>DiJsLifeStyle</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 7:36pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:22am

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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aclark2523's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36152) - you deserved it (4231)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35575) - you deserved it (3733)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42131) - you deserved it (5973)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44029) - you deserved it (4144)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

#20789918
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39079) - you deserved it (13715)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:41am - misc - by booger (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (32925)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31900) - you deserved it (18451)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26980) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24075) - you deserved it (2798)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22731) - you deserved it (2103)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

#20022564
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36817) - you deserved it (4073)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40615) - you deserved it (5233)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

#17877731
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (2602)

On 10/01/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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