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acidentprone_fml

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acidentprone_fml

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 105
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acidentprone_fml's favorite FMLs

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

#19167589
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20957) - you deserved it (7129)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

#19159712
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40012) - you deserved it (3067)

On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

#19152486
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25595) - you deserved it (5098)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML

#19139021
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you deserved it (3330)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by vsshopper (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

#18614402
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33875) - you deserved it (5250)

On 12/26/2011 at 6:48am - intimacy - by Sally - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

#18566485
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (3629)

On 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by bathtime (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33275) - you deserved it (3217)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80643) - you deserved it (6032)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

#497
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32124) - you deserved it (3242)

On 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Black - Lebanon (Beqaa)

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44470) - you deserved it (24336)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



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