This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, I was home alone in the shower when in the opening of the curtain, I could see a man in a ski mask. I passed out, hit my head on the tub. I then found out it was my dad pulling a prank on me. I almost died cause my dad wanted to see me scream like a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you totally deserved it (2339)
On 07/01/2009 at 12:31pm - misc - by dfan13 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37242) - you totally deserved it (5069)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - kids - by EwFace (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then proceeds to respond, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53609) - you totally deserved it (8931)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40250) - you totally deserved it (32677)
On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I'd been secretly seeing her for 2 months so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidently hit reply all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8883) - you totally deserved it (55287)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML
I agree, your life sucks (39073) - you totally deserved it (12299)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Em (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops, looks directly at me, and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN!" and proceeds to flip me over, grab his clothes, and run out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66376) - you totally deserved it (8249)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33283) - you totally deserved it (6117)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (49211) - you totally deserved it (15506)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16686) - you totally deserved it (249763)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (188557) - you totally deserved it (6683)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, for Easter my brother & sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74393) - you totally deserved it (2202)
On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14754) - you totally deserved it (64584)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was going to have sex with my hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "pollo frito". I then proceeded to have sex, constantly screaming pollo frito for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28496) - you totally deserved it (88141)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
[ Page : 1 ]
« Previous page | Next page »
