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ace_supreme

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  • Number of visits : 8
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ace_supreme's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

#21123315
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54296) - you deserved it (25337)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51590) - you deserved it (11549)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46107) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42103) - you deserved it (7882)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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