ace715120

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ace715120

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  • Number of visits : 534
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ace715120's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 10:00am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2010 at 2:40pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

by oumalina / 08/11/2010 at 9:54pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2010 at 2:38am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth out. My mom didn't get my prescription for painkillers because she thought I'd get addicted. FML

by Richmond24 / 07/29/2010 at 3:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, a friend of mine came to my house with tears in her eyes. I thought she was finally single so I could ask her out. Actually, her mother found out she was dating a girl, so she wants me to be her fake boyfriend as a cover-up. At least we're "dating" now. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2010 at 2:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML

by pandaboo / 07/29/2010 at 1:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a parking ticket while standing beside my car. FML

by Andre / 07/29/2010 at 6:56am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I had to apply medicine to my friend's spider bites, located on her ass crack. FML

by tonirene / 07/29/2010 at 3:21am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML

by runandmope / 07/28/2010 at 11:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to counselling as my mother thinks I have an eating disorder. All because I didn't want to eat the crap supermarket lasagna she bought for $2. FML

by dimtsis / 07/28/2010 at 9:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

by tryon777 / 07/28/2010 at 8:40pm / United States / Love

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

by Username / 07/28/2010 at 7:20am / Intimacy

Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML

by jasmine / 02/23/2010 at 11:48am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

by rashree / 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy