acanedo

Search for a member

Offline (the 07/08/2016 at 12:23am)

acanedo

9Fucked!

acanedoacanedo
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 January 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 424
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About acanedo : ^-^

acanedo's page activity

Visits<b>jubejube239</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 11:39am<b>chewsef</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 10:54am<b>Swizzles</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 1:25am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 9:14pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 4:16pm<b>tiitsmcgee</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 2:53pm<b>alphasmartass93</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 5:55pm<b>SkullHQ</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 2:20am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 2:55pm<b>Sharlock93</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:45am<b>brentt2711</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 1:52pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 9:26am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:26pm<b>WhoDaFku</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 11:37pm<b>boosack</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 10:43pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:28pm<b>weird_adult</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:24am<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 3:22am

Fucked!<b>chewsef</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 4:54pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 1:16am<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 8:19pm<b>bcoe</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:51pm<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 5:27am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:12am<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:03am<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 2:16pm

acanedo's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of acanedo's badges

acanedo's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2015 at 1:41am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

by 404: fuck not given / 11/23/2014 at 11:34am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

by stutterboy / 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

by dcort / 04/08/2012 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started lessons on snowboarding. As soon as I got to the top of the hill, my instructor pushed me saying, "Just believe, it'll come to you!" He said this just before I hit a tree, breaking my nose. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2011 at 12:07am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I discovered that I've lost thirty pounds since having my second child. However, I still weigh just as much as I did when I was full-term with my first child. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 12:38pm / United States (Alaska) / Health

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids