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Today, I found out the guy I've been dating is heavily into a mystical card game and spends all of his money going to "Magic" card conventions across the country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5809) - you totally deserved it (12033)
On 02/12/2010 at 12:03am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I hooked up with a guy who has a Facebook page for his cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3760) - you totally deserved it (14166)
On 02/11/2010 at 12:33am - intimacy - by CatWoman (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my 70 year old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28775) - you totally deserved it (1610)
On 10/05/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Eimii (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27335) - you totally deserved it (1811)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9855) - you totally deserved it (21550)
On 09/23/2009 at 6:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7017) - you totally deserved it (51296)
On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you totally deserved it (3825)
On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today I was eating m&ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering "where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26319) - you totally deserved it (6196)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. Everything was going fine until my mom asked aloud "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied "No." I was painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24913) - you totally deserved it (1983)
On 09/11/2009 at 8:26am - love - by moresexperience (man) - United States (California)
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32205) - you totally deserved it (3289)
On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34193) - you totally deserved it (2131)
On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27513) - you totally deserved it (10749)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27955) - you totally deserved it (2168)
On 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm - work - by iceman123432 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36251) - you totally deserved it (4222)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39358) - you totally deserved it (1393)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
