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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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abudali911

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abudali911
  • Town/Country : Vancouver, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 March 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 627
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About abudali911 : I love football, my favorite NFL team is the saints and I love the Yankees

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abudali911's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (1660) - you deserved it (11992)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (5876) - you deserved it (547)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (1569) - you deserved it (14176)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML

#19006098 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (7624) - you deserved it (783)

On 02/05/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by dadadoo - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

#19002086 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (5056) - you deserved it (1247)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML

#18985606 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (15992) - you deserved it (4728)

On 02/03/2012 at 5:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad killed my pet rats. They were playing on the sofa, and he thought they were vermin. This would have been understandable if the reason he came over wasn't to meet them, and they hadn't been wearing bright pink walking harnesses. FML

#18982285 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (8154) - you deserved it (1602)

On 02/03/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (26718) - you deserved it (1453)

On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

#18956321 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (4944) - you deserved it (1669)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada

Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm and cause cancer. FML

#18956163 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (5492) - you deserved it (1254)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by dumb mother (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927 (302)

I agree, your life sucks (17755) - you deserved it (2856)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

#18935378 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (5559) - you deserved it (1131)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

#18933049 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (20277) - you deserved it (1728)

On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor - United States (California)

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (8463) - you deserved it (860)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

#18871908 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (7757) - you deserved it (1089)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)