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aboveandbeyondav

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aboveandbeyondav

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 May 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4105
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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aboveandbeyondav's page activity

Visits<b>wideh2ogirl</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 4:27pm

aboveandbeyondav's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

aboveandbeyondav's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML

#1259659
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16857) - you deserved it (47676)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:51pm - work - by Kylene (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

#1259503
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69778) - you deserved it (8082)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by snotface (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML

#1251660
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27336) - you deserved it (62979)

On 04/23/2009 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML

#1250715
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17476) - you deserved it (86867)

On 04/23/2009 at 7:42am - intimacy - by waitforit (man) - United States (California)

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

#1250407
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52855) - you deserved it (10050)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

#1244870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23312) - you deserved it (73372)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11187) - you deserved it (67852)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my son and I were on an airplane playing "I Spy" to pass the time. The game went back and forth a few times when my son said, "I spy something yellow." After pointing out numerous yellow objects on the plane I gave up. He said, "Daddy! It's your teeth!" FML

#1225856
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50518) - you deserved it (17701)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:46pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal on accident. FML

#1206397
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67712) - you deserved it (25919)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by hairball (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35521) - you deserved it (92861)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51108) - you deserved it (23936)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, the $300 ring my boyfriend gave me for my birthday slipped off my finger... into the toilet. I had to sift through my own poo to get it back. FML

#1147441
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59734) - you deserved it (17949)

On 04/20/2009 at 6:05am - misc - by ohhelllllno (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML



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