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abigail_torres's favorite FMLs
by leeceetaylor99 / 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML
by sammy77sam / 07/15/2013 at 9:41am / Saint Kitts and Nevis (Saint George Basseterre) / Transportation
by lilly1105 / 07/15/2013 at 9:19am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML
by ugh / 07/15/2013 at 7:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by disataerkatie / 07/15/2013 at 6:30am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/15/2013 at 2:15am / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML
by Sam / 07/15/2013 at 1:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2013 at 12:23am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML
by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML
by anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by thatsfine / 07/14/2013 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML
by scheisse / 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML
by WTF / 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 3:37pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML
by nice one / 07/14/2013 at 1:51pm / United States (Tennessee) / Holidays