About abhi95 : Bleeh!
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abhi95's favorite FMLs
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML
by religiunatic / 12/13/2013 at 12:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument while driving home from visiting family. We pulled into a gas station, and I went inside to grab a drink and cool down. When I came back out, both car and boyfriend were nowhere in sight. It was my car. FML
by marcranger / 12/05/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML
by fuck me / 11/28/2013 at 2:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by what_a_loner / 11/17/2013 at 5:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by TheMommas / 11/06/2013 at 11:33am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Awahso / 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by . / 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States / Money
Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML
by Medication / 10/12/2013 at 11:31am / United States / Intimacy
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML
by unknown / 04/07/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Florida) / Love
by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML
by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 9:01am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
by me / 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML
by Cassandra / 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited… Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the… Today, I was searching for a travel bag. I looked in my parents room for one. I found one alright,…