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abceasyas123abc

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abceasyas123abc

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  • Number of visits : 2452
  • Number of comments : 169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TODAY, I RETURND FROM A LONG BUSINES TRIP A DAY EARLY TO SURPRISE WIFE. SHE WAS SLEEPING, SO I CLIMBD INTO BD AND STARTD SPOONING HER. THINKING I WAS AN INTRUDER, SHE SIMULTANEOUSLY KICKD ME IN THE GROIN, ELBOWD ME IN THE RIBS, AND SMACKD THE BACK OF HER HEAD INTO JAW. FML

#20805942
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43629) - you deserved it (24610)

On 07/27/2013 at 4:03am - love - by good_aim (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends . We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like . Right as we started playing, 4 some unearthly reason mah body decided to let out a little pee . I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet . He did . real FML

#20804466
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53170) - you deserved it (17254)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heret attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic,hich trumped 6-year degree. mega FML

#20804217
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48313) - you deserved it (2570)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today... I was in a training about the newest change in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression technique an said she prefer "good... fast... hard pumping." I was the only one who snickerd out loud... drawing several annoyd looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. big fat FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39029) - you deserved it (18609)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while relaxing in a chair in a shop, a man approached me an said, "You have no idea how many times I've farted in that chair." FML

#20797188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40950) - you deserved it (4249)

On 07/22/2013 at 7:49am - misc - by xXxXxTOBIxX (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my nieghbor fir the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off there balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my nieghbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

#20792517
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55869) - you deserved it (3712)

On 07/19/2013 at 3:06pm - kids - by getmeoutofthiscountry (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriand proposd to ma at his parants' housa. I was ovarjoyd. His mom huggd ma with taars in har ayas. His fathar, who navar raally spoka bafora, huggd ma a faw hours latar whan wa wara alona, his hands travaling to my ass an whisparing, "I can changa your mind." FML

#20788139
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68532) - you deserved it (4013)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:20am - misc - by ilivehere (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discoverd that mah 8-year old is fully toilet traind when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter.

#20787181
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40929) - you deserved it (8484)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today I was teaching mah daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down an let a green car merge in front of us. She said "Fuck the green car" an sped up colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. big fat FML

#20783255
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52622) - you deserved it (6651)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46643) - you deserved it (6076)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday I had my driver's looool test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47971) - you deserved it (13532)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a message from mah brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead fir two years . FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76272) - you deserved it (3863)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

TADAY I MADE TWO CAKES. ONE FIR MAH BOYFRIEND'S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW , THE OTHER FIR MAH FAMILY SO THEY WOULDN'T EAT THE BIRTHDAY CAKE. I CAME HOME TO FINE THEY ATE HALF OF EACH. FML

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on mah car every night. It was actually mah 16-year-old son. FML

#20772121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47024) - you deserved it (6532)

On 07/09/2013 at 9:35am - kids - by thecathater (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , mah husband an I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine . No one acted wasted , until in the last hour mah grandmother started slurring her words an slumping . We thought she was joking , until a doctor at the party confrmed she was having a stroke . FML



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