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abbymackenziee

Offline (the 02/14/2014 at 3:23am) | Search for a member

abbymackenziee

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2098
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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abbymackenziee's page activity

Visits<b>horsehaed7</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 4:44am<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:48pm<b>riddle143</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:46am<b>TackleFace</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 8:28pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 8:30pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:37pm<b>dabomb0513</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:28pm<b>redwings1340</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:25pm<b>okcnation</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 7:45pm<b>Mitchell0987</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 4:11pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:56pm<b>kmcruz417</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:23pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Shep81</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:58pm<b>johnfolk</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:57pm<b>spartan2hire</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:54pm<b>mschmuty</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:02pm

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abbymackenziee's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

#21221361
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (4566)

On 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (10781)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50002) - you deserved it (4178)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42105) - you deserved it (3369)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40686) - you deserved it (4024)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

#21192852
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40711) - you deserved it (14355)

On 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

#21189564
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44365) - you deserved it (4355)

On 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm - work - by E.B. (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56082) - you deserved it (2983)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48766) - you deserved it (13631)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

#21179816
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (4519)

On 06/18/2014 at 8:58pm - work - by Shannon - United States (Michigan)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51879) - you deserved it (4562)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

#21173638
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (5407)

On 06/13/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I am so shy and friendless that my mother is literally setting up a play-date with one of her friend's daughters. I'm 25 years old and this is my best chance at making a friend. FML

#21164644
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43173) - you deserved it (8091)

On 06/06/2014 at 2:24am - kids - by playdated - United States (California)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46776) - you deserved it (4936)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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