Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

abasio

Search for a member

abasio

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1614
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

abasio's page activity

Visits<b>taytaysings97</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:56pm<b>Aiden89</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:43am<b>monisv</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 8:35am<b>Inkay</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 11:09am<b>Dewoe</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:54am<b>fagnig</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 6:51am<b>Disobey</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 5:13pm<b>NinaTatianna</b> - the 10/17/2011 at 12:35am<b>ImanAzol</b> - the 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm<b>sonofkarma</b> - the 04/03/2011 at 10:22pm<b>rallets</b> - the 04/03/2011 at 1:38pm<b>muchagente</b> - the 04/03/2011 at 1:28pm<b>digressions</b> - the 03/25/2011 at 4:57pm<b>Cenobyte</b> - the 03/10/2011 at 12:41am<b>Bobissmall</b> - the 03/09/2011 at 8:13am<b>Zebidee</b> - the 02/19/2011 at 12:13pm<b>lordarion</b> - the 01/29/2011 at 3:37pm<b>katieisacar</b> - the 11/19/2010 at 1:05pm

abasio's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

abasio's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67805) - you deserved it (7614)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17153) - you deserved it (68413)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81887) - you deserved it (5578)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83073) - you deserved it (14192)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

#2660481
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55716) - you deserved it (12324)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
640 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27662) - you deserved it (272233)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138688) - you deserved it (14089)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84225) - you deserved it (31462)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

#385817
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114827) - you deserved it (43010)

On 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by badbirthday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML

#122895
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44267) - you deserved it (4584)

On 02/24/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20993) - you deserved it (48751)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

#6669
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35372) - you deserved it (8225)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:16pm - intimacy - by Zippyzoo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

#1752
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33615) - you deserved it (9169)

On 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (3736)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: