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abasio

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abasio
  • Town/Country : Fujisawa, Japan
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1382
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64064) - you deserved it (7208)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15705) - you deserved it (65963)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79608) - you deserved it (5384)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74320) - you deserved it (10288)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

#2660481
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52540) - you deserved it (11376)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
626 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (253283)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125997) - you deserved it (11792)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80721) - you deserved it (30130)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

#385817
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107046) - you deserved it (40647)

On 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by badbirthday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML

#122895
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41680) - you deserved it (4306)

On 02/24/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18275) - you deserved it (44492)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

#6669
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29910) - you deserved it (6783)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:16pm - intimacy - by Zippyzoo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

#1752
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30838) - you deserved it (8577)

On 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17747) - you deserved it (3177)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)



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