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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2523
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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abasio's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 1:56pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 3:21am<b>vsus98</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 9:04am<b>rebamoo</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 4:40am<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:59am<b>Arkajion</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 1:44am<b>Janawa</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:22pm<b>taytaysings97</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:56pm<b>Aiden89</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:43am<b>monisv</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 8:35am<b>Inkay</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 11:09am<b>Dewoe</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:54am<b>fagnig</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 6:51am<b>Disobey</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 5:13pm<b>NinaTatianna</b> - the 10/17/2011 at 12:35am<b>ImanAzol</b> - the 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm<b>sonofkarma</b> - the 04/03/2011 at 10:22pm<b>rallets</b> - the 04/03/2011 at 1:38pm

abasio's FML badges

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abasio's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

by esb / 08/13/2009 at 11:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

by MitchFail / 07/23/2009 at 2:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

by Oblivious / 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm / Kuwait / Love

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

by badbirthday / 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

by Evil_Egbert / 02/12/2009 at 6:54am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

by Zippyzoo / 02/03/2009 at 5:16pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

by stanDman / 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

by depraved / 01/08/2009 at 6:21am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health