Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

abasio

Search for a member

abasio
  • Town/Country : Fujisawa, Japan
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1382
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

abasio's last visitors

InkayDewoeDisobeyNinaTatiannaZebrasofa13rallets

abasio's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

abasio's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

#15689695
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13506) - you deserved it (38262)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Payte -

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34879) - you deserved it (11884)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41438) - you deserved it (2810) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says "Wow, this is just too funny". FML

#14386335
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24877) - you deserved it (5344)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my mom that I wanted professional head-shots done for Christmas. When asked why, I said "I want to submit them to a modeling agency." My mom exchanged looks with my sister before laughing so hard that she wet herself. FML

#14019347
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (6075)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by brandiboobarry -

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

#13678660
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7946) - you deserved it (33364)

On 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I ordered an xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML

#13347078
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (2787)

On 10/06/2010 at 8:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (3527)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML

#12861680
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22053) - you deserved it (3815)

On 09/01/2010 at 10:31pm - health - by jodulieu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

#7905644
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4128) - you deserved it (37989)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by goldenshower (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML

#6676757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18286) - you deserved it (3857)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by dfkjhregoiuberiug (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

#6040097
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9551) - you deserved it (74499)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25724) - you deserved it (4756)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

#4805621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20665) - you deserved it (27875)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

#4524259
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41881) - you deserved it (5696)

On 08/14/2009 at 11:53am - intimacy - by seeminglyunsexy (man) - United States (Indiana)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: