Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

abasio

Search for a member

abasio

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1552
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

abasio's page activity

Visits<b>taytaysings97</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:56pm<b>Aiden89</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:43am<b>monisv</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 8:35am<b>Inkay</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 11:09am<b>Dewoe</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:54am<b>fagnig</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 6:51am<b>Disobey</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 5:13pm<b>NinaTatianna</b> - the 10/17/2011 at 12:35am<b>ImanAzol</b> - the 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm<b>sonofkarma</b> - the 04/03/2011 at 10:22pm<b>rallets</b> - the 04/03/2011 at 1:38pm<b>muchagente</b> - the 04/03/2011 at 1:28pm<b>digressions</b> - the 03/25/2011 at 4:57pm<b>Cenobyte</b> - the 03/10/2011 at 12:41am<b>Bobissmall</b> - the 03/09/2011 at 8:13am<b>Zebidee</b> - the 02/19/2011 at 12:13pm<b>lordarion</b> - the 01/29/2011 at 3:37pm<b>katieisacar</b> - the 11/19/2010 at 1:05pm

abasio's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

abasio's favorite FMLs

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28974) - you deserved it (1687)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37158) - you deserved it (3996)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

#19781489
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (3226)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

#19496136
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37809) - you deserved it (5759)

On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19227) - you deserved it (5101)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36303) - you deserved it (2994)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

#19381201
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27419) - you deserved it (19403)

On 03/31/2012 at 8:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML

#19326564
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27875) - you deserved it (2427)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm - misc - by busfail - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

#19288594
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24452) - you deserved it (14348)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

#19253868
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9977) - you deserved it (144698)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34049) - you deserved it (4981)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32033) - you deserved it (6164)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27674) - you deserved it (7630)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (7097)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#18662778
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15206) - you deserved it (27593)

On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: