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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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aayers7

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aayers7
  • Town/Country : baltimore, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 April 1973 (38 years)
  • Number of visits : 333
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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aayers7's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738 (502)

I agree, your life sucks (9964) - you deserved it (6572)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817 (302)

I agree, your life sucks (38216) - you deserved it (5163)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595 (410)

I agree, your life sucks (26293) - you deserved it (3152)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, over a year on from my parents telling me my dog had died, I went to the shelter to volunteer, and saw my old dog. FML

#17534903 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (34839) - you deserved it (1371)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:51am - animals - by Dogless - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (22575) - you deserved it (3124)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML

#10920381 (396)

I agree, your life sucks (52748) - you deserved it (3336)

On 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (24187) - you deserved it (3170)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (35697) - you deserved it (2105)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (6870) - you deserved it (34681)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (10670) - you deserved it (19346)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

#6270812 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (29364) - you deserved it (1805)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore

Today, I took a trip to Wal-Mart. There's a car wash that they conveniently built right outside of this Wal-Mart. So as I was leaving, I decided to make use of this car wash, not even thinking about the $200 worth of groceries I had just purchased. I drive a pick-up truck. FML

#6022532 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (5234) - you deserved it (44620)

On 10/27/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by dave (man) - United States

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (54091) - you deserved it (6455)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (38132) - you deserved it (2810)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

#4928502 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (46089) - you deserved it (5478)

On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)