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a_wiener_d0g

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a_wiener_d0g
  • Town/Country : Georgia, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 282
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About a_wiener_d0g : I'm 18, work at a vet. Bout the most interesting things about me.

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a_wiener_d0g's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33704) - you deserved it (5344)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

#21087493
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53872) - you deserved it (4099)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm - love - by broken vows (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat c**t". FML

#21078597
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62014) - you deserved it (4390)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my friends convinced me to go out clubbing with them for the first time. "You'll get some action", they said. The only action I got was some drunk bloke staggering into me and spraying me with vomit just minutes after arriving. FML

#21074902
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35305) - you deserved it (3247)

On 03/01/2014 at 12:23pm - misc - by thanks, cunt-o (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was cleaning the bathrooms at work. An older gentlemen came in and needed to use it. He said to me "Oh no, PLEASE stay, just don't look." I don't get paid enough for this. FML

#21065584
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (3335)

On 02/19/2014 at 4:09pm - work - by sarad206 (woman) - United States

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

#21038562
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39068) - you deserved it (7361)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm - kids - by limping (man) - Canada

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43880) - you deserved it (6076)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42888) - you deserved it (3911)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML

#21000068
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46692) - you deserved it (3757)

On 12/21/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by 00bsg - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

#21000013
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39061) - you deserved it (10308)

On 12/21/2013 at 9:13am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Florida)

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

#20993307
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41052) - you deserved it (5928)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:58am - animals - by Cat Piss - United States (Texas)

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42318) - you deserved it (5201)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42823) - you deserved it (5066)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44101) - you deserved it (3530)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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