Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

a_lenzmeier

Search for a member

a_lenzmeier

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 September 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1232
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About a_lenzmeier : I can think of nothing clever to say, except there once was a man from Nantucket.

a_lenzmeier's page activity

Visits<b>uiskibum</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:20am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:14pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:23pm<b>potatoequals3</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:18am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:55am<b>lefartface</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:46am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:21pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:19am<b>forevralone</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 3:39pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 1:04am<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:42pm<b>ajax_united</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 1:36am<b>mcdekree</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:02pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 9:48am<b>pplthinkimbad</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 7:17am<b>Kalipczo</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 9:43am<b>BreathlessInk</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 7:45pm<b>Daaaan</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 4:50pm

a_lenzmeier's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of a_lenzmeier's badges

a_lenzmeier's favorite FMLs

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

#15149183
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25527) - you deserved it (8022)

On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

#15149183
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25527) - you deserved it (8022)

On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, a guy who I have known for a long time confessed his love to me. It would have been sweet except that he will become my stepbrother in 3 days. FML

#15124689
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32300) - you deserved it (2654)

On 02/26/2011 at 9:03am - love - by welcometothefamily - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked out a girl I like to a movie. She said "I hate babysitting." FML

#15112268
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30082) - you deserved it (4802)

On 02/25/2011 at 7:17am - love - by Anonymous - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML

#15091892
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37496) - you deserved it (3492)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28455) - you deserved it (10673)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28455) - you deserved it (10673)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38174) - you deserved it (7400)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML

#14451100
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29932) - you deserved it (4040)

On 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm - kids - by jenabp - United States (Arizona)

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (8192)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (8192)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34197) - you deserved it (7717)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34197) - you deserved it (7717)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML

#13912441
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20546) - you deserved it (6126)

On 11/20/2010 at 2:07pm - kids - by Lexi - Canada

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48411) - you deserved it (7518)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: