aWeirdoNamedCori

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Offline (the 07/02/2015 at 5:48am)

aWeirdoNamedCori

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 May 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1605
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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aWeirdoNamedCori's page activity

Visits<b>maritaak</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 9:36am<b>alexasyddm</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 10:49pm<b>ragdoll316</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 10:13pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 7:45pm<b>Dipmunch</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 10:35pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 8:21pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 3:01pm<b>Nicole112</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 5:38pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 2:37am<b>tomgun</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 3:59am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 2:26am<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 12:50am<b>zombieslayer83</b> - the 05/21/2013 at 9:59am<b>ljcarranza</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 3:23am<b>annerz374</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 9:30am<b>Lizabethx5</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 5:15pm<b>XanderJayNix</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 2:02pm<b>cd8919</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 11:16am

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aWeirdoNamedCori's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm / Czech Republic / Transportation

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

by crazy mother in law / 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

by Bonding_boys / 12/17/2012 at 11:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

by Tymer / 11/23/2012 at 10:56am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids