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Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12968) - you totally deserved it (2137)
On 02/06/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by annony-moose - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend, who plays guitar and sings very well, has dark hair, and wears girl pants. After telling her these things, she's quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says, "So... You're dating a Jonas brother?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4328) - you totally deserved it (21209)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by kikinemo (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friends house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said "who's this? stop texting me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13931) - you totally deserved it (7517)
On 01/16/2010 at 7:22am - love - by Desperate_measures (woman) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, I went to see John Mayer. Being 6'2", I didn't think there would be any trouble seeing the stage, until three 6'6" men stood directly in front of me, pissed in a cup and managed to spill it over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16382) - you totally deserved it (2505)
On 01/15/2010 at 10:30pm - misc - by edot (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19662) - you totally deserved it (1044)
On 01/12/2010 at 8:10am - kids - by mickey1928 -
Today, one of my managers at work asked me to carrying our new Frappe machine to front counter for assembling. Being 5 months pregnant, I explained to her I am unable to safely lift more than 20-30lbs. I was then fired and told that I shouldn't use being pregnant as an excuse to not work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29163) - you totally deserved it (2233)
On 01/06/2010 at 6:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5503) - you totally deserved it (2086)
On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I found my daughter's brand new ipod touch. At the bottom of the washing machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15697) - you totally deserved it (3093)
On 01/04/2010 at 4:07pm - kids - by payne (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3363) - you totally deserved it (45487)
On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24605) - you totally deserved it (904)
On 12/26/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had given up on finding my makeup bag with cell phone and iPod my mom had bought for me recently. So I went to art to join the group of girls with whom I share the back art studio of my school. One of them was talking about how she'd ripped off some bitch's stuff, and she held up my bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21622) - you totally deserved it (1263)
On 12/21/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I decided to sign up to a dating website. After having a long conversation with one of my matches about how much I hate my job, I decided to meet up with him. It was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19723) - you totally deserved it (5730)
On 12/21/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The rest of the family stood there laughing. This is what I'm marrying into? FML
I agree, your life sucks (6987) - you totally deserved it (1019)
On 12/08/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by umm - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27734) - you totally deserved it (959)
On 12/08/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at Target buying four coloring books. As I was in line, the woman behind me said that buying coloring books was a good idea to keep my kids occupied. I smiled and said that it would give me a few minutes to relax. I am a 26 year old guy with no kids. The coloring books were for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8196) - you totally deserved it (19185)
On 12/08/2009 at 1:06pm - kids - by 2old4thiscrap (man) - United States (New York)
