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aNet's favorite FMLs
by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals
by brownunderwear / 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML
by memoryloss / 12/04/2011 at 2:04am / United States (Texas) / Health
by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
by tech_support / 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work
by Nicole557 / 11/03/2011 at 6:56am / United States / Animals
by Korisite / 10/30/2011 at 1:31am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Scott / 09/15/2011 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Health
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis… Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am.… Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room,…