_wallflower

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_wallflower

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1903
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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_wallflower's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:08pm

_wallflower's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

_wallflower's favorite FMLs

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

by jazthefish / 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

by anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 1:10am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

by Patrick / 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML

by britney / 02/14/2010 at 9:54pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

by AnnaNick / 02/13/2010 at 9:19pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2010 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2010 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

by muffingirl / 02/10/2010 at 7:30am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML

by LynnJ / 02/05/2010 at 9:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

by heartbroken / 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

by Fran / 01/09/2010 at 3:40am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

by leigh2812 / 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm / Love

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

by leigh2812 / 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm / Love

Today, I had a rare phone call from my ex-girlfriend. We ended up talking for hours about old times. It was the best conversation we have had in forever, it made me miss her and miss us. Later on in the day, she called back asking what we talked about. She was too high too remember. FML

by CP19JK12KH / 01/03/2010 at 4:56am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2010 at 8:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous