About _tequierodianna : my name's dianna and I am cuban. antisocial but try if you'd like, lol. kik-_tequierodianna
_tequierodianna's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
_tequierodianna's favorite FMLs
by afraid of flying too / 06/24/2013 at 7:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by thanksdoc / 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 5:50am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
by ohman / 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/01/2011 at 12:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my family took me to a wig store saying I wouldn't feel so insecure about being bald because of my chemo treatments. When I told them I accepted myself and didn't want a wig, they came out and told me THEY couldn't accept it. My own family is embarrassed of me over something I can't control. FML
by Betrayed / 07/31/2009 at 5:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
by madzlovesgee / 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML
by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 7:24am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy
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