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_sempiternus

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_sempiternus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 May 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 949
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About _sempiternus : ♡ My name's Ari. I'm obsessed with bubble baths and horror movies. Fanatic of ancient mythology and the arts; hobbies include eating pizza and cracking lame jokes.

_sempiternus's page activity

Visits<b>darkmatou</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:29pm<b>M_F06_25</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:37am<b>spatula232</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 2:39am<b>Gooberglop</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:35pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:22pm<b>Bmxing</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:01am<b>sshie</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:41am<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:42pm<b>misleadingname</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:23am<b>godly97</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:11am<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:59am<b>hannahmae1357</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:07am<b>zRapture</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:25pm<b>charmanderCHAR</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:14am<b>rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:45pm<b>suoerkewl</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Crash0997</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:25pm<b>QD</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:21pm

_sempiternus's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of _sempiternus's badges

_sempiternus's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59444) - you deserved it (25796)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59263) - you deserved it (5423)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44724) - you deserved it (8840)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50173) - you deserved it (13817)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49219) - you deserved it (6454)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43249) - you deserved it (3242)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16919) - you deserved it (46062) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML

#12566146
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30600) - you deserved it (3491)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24551) - you deserved it (40305)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82824) - you deserved it (10957)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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