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_sempiternus

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_sempiternus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 May 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 920
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About _sempiternus : ♡ My name's Ari. I'm obsessed with bubble baths and horror movies. Fanatic of ancient mythology and the arts; hobbies include eating pizza and cracking lame jokes.

_sempiternus's page activity

Visits<b>Bmxing</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:01am<b>sshie</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:41am<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:42pm<b>misleadingname</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:23am<b>godly97</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:11am<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:59am<b>hannahmae1357</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:07am<b>zRapture</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:25pm<b>charmanderCHAR</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:14am<b>rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:45pm<b>suoerkewl</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Crash0997</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:25pm<b>QD</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:21pm<b>IJG2000</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:08am<b>LovelyStones</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 8:39pm<b>link757</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 5:31pm<b>samuelee</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:56pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 10:47am

_sempiternus's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of _sempiternus's badges

_sempiternus's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59283) - you deserved it (25746)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59198) - you deserved it (5416)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44639) - you deserved it (8826)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50099) - you deserved it (13802)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49164) - you deserved it (6449)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43157) - you deserved it (3235)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16901) - you deserved it (46004) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML

#12566146
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30541) - you deserved it (3484)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24313) - you deserved it (39913)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82704) - you deserved it (10935)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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