Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

_microwaveable_

Search for a member

_microwaveable_

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 December 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1066
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About _microwaveable_ : I think FML stories are the greatest things on the planet. When ever I'm feeling down I just read some of these and think * Wow. Their life sucks so much more.*

"The office" is another one of the greatest things on the planet.

I don't think its necessary to act mature, I'm still a child. Sort of.

Other than that, I'm just your average FML'er.

_microwaveable_'s page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:31pm<b>FaceMyLies</b> - the 01/29/2011 at 8:59am<b>lilauer13</b> - the 10/25/2010 at 3:37pm<b>That_Guy_Jake_JR</b> - the 08/28/2010 at 9:26pm<b>euphorickid</b> - the 08/17/2010 at 11:24pm<b>Supa_Pirate55</b> - the 08/13/2010 at 2:36pm<b>saint_jimmy</b> - the 08/12/2010 at 2:33pm<b>roflinyourwaffle</b> - the 08/12/2010 at 11:13am<b>Lillinette</b> - the 08/08/2010 at 10:13pm<b>Blowpop_95</b> - the 08/06/2010 at 6:39pm<b>WtfLoser</b> - the 08/06/2010 at 3:05pm<b>fuck_this_shit_5</b> - the 08/06/2010 at 1:25pm<b>fuckingbiglife</b> - the 08/06/2010 at 6:17am<b>Trollz4daLULZ</b> - the 08/06/2010 at 2:44am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 08/03/2010 at 9:14pm<b>picturescrazy</b> - the 08/03/2010 at 9:07pm<b>281go</b> - the 08/03/2010 at 2:54pm<b>Vampireking</b> - the 08/02/2010 at 3:26am

_microwaveable_'s FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

_microwaveable_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

#12144895
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23350) - you deserved it (12162)

On 07/27/2010 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by aero00 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49319) - you deserved it (17431)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (3093)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32957) - you deserved it (2361)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML

#8590174
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33811) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:36pm - misc - by Kay (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while on my way to the break room, it seemed as if everyone was staring at me and giving me odd looks. I asked my friend, "Did I get prettier overnight or something?" She answered, "No, your shirt is just see-through." FML

#8011432
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8910) - you deserved it (26192)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106321) - you deserved it (12439)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62979) - you deserved it (6223)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML

#7541798
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29627) - you deserved it (4308)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:27am - misc - by unknown - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML

#7454643
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28977) - you deserved it (3899)

On 01/20/2010 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I flew a toy helicopter into my face. FML

#7436453
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8045) - you deserved it (30896)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:42pm - misc - by magicalDEATH (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I found my beloved hamster, Toofie. Toofie escaped from his cage. 4 years ago. FML

#7380973
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32001) - you deserved it (4361)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:36pm - animals - by riptoofie (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

#7213754
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8767) - you deserved it (44563)

On 01/08/2010 at 6:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

#6302850
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6943) - you deserved it (66994)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: