Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

_lifehappens_

Offline (the 07/19/2014 at 7:06pm) | Search for a member

_lifehappens_

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 February 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 440
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About _lifehappens_ : simply smiling

_lifehappens_'s page activity

Visits<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:22pm<b>AeroAris</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 9:52pm

_lifehappens_'s FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of _lifehappens_'s badges

_lifehappens_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36464) - you deserved it (5290)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35435) - you deserved it (6166)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45296) - you deserved it (15972)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54780) - you deserved it (4631)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43291) - you deserved it (4334)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41678) - you deserved it (4634)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51349) - you deserved it (2923)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

#20978895
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39145) - you deserved it (14706)

On 12/02/2013 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
202 comments

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39619) - you deserved it (4944)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52359) - you deserved it (5439)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53508) - you deserved it (11457)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

#20959913
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38596) - you deserved it (2465)

On 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by gonnafail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29173) - you deserved it (44011)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: