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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 372
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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_iquitlife_'s page activity

Visits<b>TheViPeRisT</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:09pm<b>AFCCT</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 1:27pm<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:38pm<b>billyjoebob1122</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:26pm<b>ShatteredPulse</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 3:16pm<b>doctorhook86</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:25pm<b>WiltedRoses</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:13am<b>Checker</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:36am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:37am<b>mcm_3</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 7:20am<b>kino22x</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 7:54pm<b>baby4mommy</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 1:44am<b>Hildy93</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 1:38am<b>CountEjacula</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 1:19am<b>johbstonjacob</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 10:53pm<b>silvercamaro</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 8:31pm<b>willrich7</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 7:46pm<b>LuckBeNimble</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 7:36pm

_iquitlife_'s FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of _iquitlife_'s badges

_iquitlife_'s favorite FMLs

Today, at college, I was frantically trying to finish an essay on gay rights that was due less than an hour later. In the end I failed, because the college internet filters kept classifying every single page containing the information I needed as "sex", and blocked it all. FML

by fstfckd / 06/07/2014 at 3:16pm / United States / Work

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 12:39pm / United States / Animals

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids

Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 7:24am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous