Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 12/24/2014 at 12:09am) | Search for a member
About _daniellesays_ : Say what you will about the importance of grammar, but I think you automatically (in general) get a few more respect points for writing like this, instade of lyk dis.
I'm a lifeguard, guarding the crucial lives of fellow Michigan-citizens every day, nbd.
I love the lyrics from the song 23 by Jimmy Eat World, "No one else will have me like you do; No one else will have me, only you" , + the way Jim Adkins sings it.
Did you know that dolphins rape people?
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, at my job in a nursing home, the State Department of Health inspected us, during which a dementia patient repeatedly screamed that I always hurt her. This was the first time that I'd ever seen her. FML
Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
Friday 5 February 2016