_daniellesays_

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Offline (the 12/24/2014 at 12:09am)

_daniellesays_

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2395
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About _daniellesays_ : Say what you will about the importance of grammar, but I think you automatically (in general) get a few more respect points for writing like this, instade of lyk dis.

Anyway, hi.
I'm a lifeguard, guarding the crucial lives of fellow Michigan-citizens every day, nbd.

I love the lyrics from the song 23 by Jimmy Eat World, "No one else will have me like you do; No one else will have me, only you" , + the way Jim Adkins sings it.

Did you know that dolphins rape people?

_daniellesays_'s page activity

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Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:46am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:31pm

_daniellesays_'s FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of _daniellesays_'s badges

_daniellesays_'s favorite FMLs

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

by Failed Parent / 10/11/2012 at 2:59am / United States / Kids

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

by unknown / 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Love

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

by still learning / 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Work

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

by Djcc / 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm / United States / Love

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

by Anonymoosey / 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

by hatinthelife / 02/18/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

by dummy / 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got my hands on some meet and greet passes for a concert. My fiancé and I got our picture taken with the band. A few moments later, in my excitement, instead of texting the picture to my friend, I accidentally deleted it. FML

by vixiecat / 02/15/2012 at 2:33pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML

by Nanabanana1 / 02/06/2012 at 8:23pm / United States / Love

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a World of Warcraft commercial came on. He turned to me and said, "Yeah, I'd choose the Horde over you any day." FML

by Sad.To.Be.Me. / 01/13/2012 at 6:56pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

by Dani / 01/12/2012 at 5:35am / Australia / Miscellaneous