I'm not a troll.
It's just loads of effort doing an 'about me' :'D
Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24462) - you totally deserved it (4600)
On 11/06/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by obese_chicken (woman) - Australia
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21566) - you totally deserved it (9973)
On 08/24/2009 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Mattyboy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14040) - you totally deserved it (36189)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I worked in a clinic as a intern. A nurse was called to dry a woman's hair. I followed her, trying to be a good intern. After the nurse was done, the 72 year old woman took off her bathrobe. While looking at me she sat down, her legs wide open. And, yes, she knew she was naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23820) - you totally deserved it (1543) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 9:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)
Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36385) - you totally deserved it (12259)
On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31941) - you totally deserved it (4790)
On 07/28/2009 at 12:15am - intimacy - by saynotochrispine (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8870) - you totally deserved it (25660)
On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36070) - you totally deserved it (8258)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was lying in bed late at night trying to fall asleep. I blew my nose on a kleenex and was too lazy to get up and put it in the garbage. I threw it under my bed when I heard a whispery voice say "Thank you". It was my little brother trying to scare me. I peed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37206) - you totally deserved it (7305)
On 07/23/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
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