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_cassandra_
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  • Number of visits : 707
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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_cassandra_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

#19142654
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26359) - you deserved it (1985)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - kids - by crzyry (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

#18833422
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13078) - you deserved it (21427)

On 01/17/2012 at 8:20am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

#18552373
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44449) - you deserved it (4398)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

#18408881
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20249) - you deserved it (5339)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37672) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

#18403998
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51209) - you deserved it (2816)

On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

#18384593
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14300) - you deserved it (21986)

On 11/29/2011 at 11:15am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

#18384593
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14300) - you deserved it (21986)

On 11/29/2011 at 11:15am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML

#18306908
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21441) - you deserved it (1959)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML

#18281989
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23049) - you deserved it (2530)

On 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I moved to California. Too bad the rest of my belongings didn't. FML

#18267305
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24170) - you deserved it (2570)

On 11/16/2011 at 8:32pm - health - by tomoxishigaki - United States (California)

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

#18078195
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25169) - you deserved it (3671)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:43am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

#18070183
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26431) - you deserved it (2912)

On 10/25/2011 at 3:17am - animals - by pinkjade - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15442) - you deserved it (43162) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

#18036176
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6449) - you deserved it (46957)

On 10/21/2011 at 12:57am - misc - by crankg - United States (Ohio)



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