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Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

#15250812
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34778) - you deserved it (18320)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by prdept. (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

#15127410
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53523) - you deserved it (4645)

On 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

#15031615
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26450) - you deserved it (15741)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by blaahh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML

#15015592
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11212) - you deserved it (32807)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:29pm - misc - by Whatever479 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

#15015231
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32325) - you deserved it (2861)

On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

#15011616
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22626) - you deserved it (3603)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:58am - animals - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

#15006025
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (8914)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm - misc - by CandyMachine (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

#15005478
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6116) - you deserved it (60182)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

#15001986
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29469) - you deserved it (2810)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45237) - you deserved it (13035)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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