i'm bailey, i like things simple. i'm always with my best motherfucker sarah & the boys rick, & holden. & anymore, i'm really happy.
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2819) - you totally deserved it (16644)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:24am - misc - by imabadperson (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2606) - you totally deserved it (17839)
On 03/06/2010 at 2:38am - misc - by drunk (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12837) - you totally deserved it (960)
On 03/06/2010 at 12:16am - health - by KateD - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4489) - you totally deserved it (15710)
On 03/06/2010 at 12:14am - love - by mariah_1_11 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my dorm had a mandatory meeting about body image. I went to the meeting and left feeling all good about myself. As soon as I got back to my room, my favorite jeans ripped right across my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9185) - you totally deserved it (2018)
On 03/06/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by shortiem (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my wife of four years confessed to me that she only married me for the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15437) - you totally deserved it (1396)
On 03/05/2010 at 8:05pm - money - by mrrichkid - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11742) - you totally deserved it (982)
On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States
Today, there was a flood at my friends house. As a result, their cat shelter had to be evacuated, and my mother decided to help. I came home to 23 cats in my bedroom. I'm highly allergic. My face has now swollen up to the size of a football, and I have an important job interview tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13790) - you totally deserved it (876)
On 03/05/2010 at 5:02pm - misc - by FsuesLife - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I'm seven months into a twelve month deployment. I called my fiancee, and she dumped me. The worst part is that two days ago, I re-enlisted to go to a unit an hour away from her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12191) - you totally deserved it (854)
On 03/05/2010 at 3:21pm - misc - by copenhagen20 - United States (Armed Forces Africa)
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20144) - you totally deserved it (1327)
On 03/05/2010 at 7:54am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines and inadvertantly eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10069) - you totally deserved it (1124)
On 03/05/2010 at 3:01am - work - by Petergibbons - United States (California)
Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and feel down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10727) - you totally deserved it (2913)
On 03/05/2010 at 12:24am - love - by harro101 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16467) - you totally deserved it (1121)
On 03/04/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Brandee - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that we need a code word for when I'm being annoying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8199) - you totally deserved it (4169)
On 03/04/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by ugh - United States
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discretely called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12256) - you totally deserved it (1020)
On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
