Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

_apecakez

Search for a member

_apecakez

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 April 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 68841
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About _apecakez : twitter: apecakez
I am april, and I am cool. (H)

_apecakez's page activity

Visits<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:55am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 3:55am<b>Erin2009</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:55am<b>ilikeoreos222</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 4:19pm<b>Phaeno</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:23pm<b>Pyro1921</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:21pm<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:28am<b>danniKay214</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:52pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:49pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:53pm<b>facelick</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:52pm<b>drunkmunkey</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 12:30am<b>Celestial_Dreams</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:20pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 3:04am<b>AwesomeblueJUAN</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 5:32pm<b>jgibbs019</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:40am<b>adam97</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:15am<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 8:13pm

Liked!<b>Pyro1921</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 1:21am

_apecakez's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

_apecakez's favorite FMLs

Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML

#4031400
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71090) - you deserved it (8629)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by misopower (woman) - China (Henan)

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

#3998492
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70548) - you deserved it (7029)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked lovingly into my eyes and asked, "How do you feel about polygamy?" FML

#3855655
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52848) - you deserved it (3712)

On 07/18/2009 at 12:14pm - intimacy - by nonmormon (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

#3821769
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (8938)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Cyberella (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

#3646272
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59165) - you deserved it (3852)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (272018) - you deserved it (17610)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124200) - you deserved it (6688)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML

#1358380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51464) - you deserved it (9747)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by jimboxo (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (414716) - you deserved it (67202)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

#774931
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164666) - you deserved it (26594)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

#766931
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64524) - you deserved it (3004)

On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169509) - you deserved it (34146)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

#582886
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19670) - you deserved it (81892)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (155830) - you deserved it (13877)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML

#151605
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24001) - you deserved it (45505)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - love - by Ma.Sa.La. (woman) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: