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_alexis22's FML badges
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_alexis22's favorite FMLs
Today, is the day of the biggest concert in the state of Florida, and it's also my birthday. I was so excited to hear my mom got tickets. It was for her boyfriend and her. I'm stuck at home babysitting. FML
by Anonymous / 04/14/2013 at 9:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, when I was talking to my younger brother, he suddenly said "Oh, I was supposed to tell you that there's this girl who has a huge crush on you!" I asked who and he answered, "I totally forgot her name, that was like 2 months ago." FML
by MissedTheBoat / 04/14/2013 at 3:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by saxophone911 / 04/13/2013 at 11:52am / United States / Love
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Snorlax / 04/13/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML
by InDisbelief / 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck / 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 6:23am / Canada / Work
Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML
by too young for this / 04/12/2013 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by anyonmus / 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals
by Juliet / 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I started my new job as a mail carrier. One of my assigned roads was Milbrooke Street, which I'd never heard of. After driving around for ages trying to find it, I called for directions. The street doesn't exist in my city; it's just the boss' way of seeing how stupid you are. FML
by Directionally challenged / 04/11/2013 at 12:18pm / United States / Work